Notifications, the comic

The chef sends word.

The same kitchen as the other comics, with you out of the door. The chef still calls the kitchen phone when something goes wrong, but now the word also goes out through a messenger you picked, to your phone or your chat, and only what you asked for.

1 Nobody at the phone

When something goes wrong, the chef calls you on the kitchen phone: a Windows notification. But that phone only rings here, at this computer. When you are out, nobody picks up.

So you also give the chef a messenger: ntfy, Gotify, Discord, Slack, Telegram, Pushover, or a webhook with your own JSON template. No e-mail. Always over https, unless it runs on this computer or your own network.

Before you save the channel, press Send test: a test message goes out straight away, so you know the address and the token work before you need them.

2 Only what you asked for

Per channel you pick which notices go out. A new channel gets the trouble: a cook who stops or turns unhealthy, a lost network, a failed backup and the like. Not the reports, such as the cleanup or a new version, unless you tick them.

A notification you switched off, or a cook you muted, stays in the app and does not go out either. Quiet here means quiet on your phone.

At most twenty messages per channel an hour. Then one last message says so, and until the time it names they only show in the app. A cook who keeps falling over does not flood your phone.

3 What leaves the kitchen

That night it is real: the title and text of the notice, plus the machine name. So container and machine names end up at the service, and the dialog says so. On public ntfy.sh anyone who knows your topic reads along, so pick one that is hard to guess.

Topics, tokens, keys and webhook addresses go in a sealed envelope: encrypted on this computer, readable only by your Windows user, and never shown again. Change a channel’s server or address and you type them again, so nobody can send your token elsewhere.

In Docker Client MX: the same notifications on your phone or in your chat, only the ones you pick, tested before you save, twenty an hour at most, and the keys sealed on your own computer.

The cheat sheet

Every picture above, in the app’s words.

The kitchen phone: A Windows notification, on this computer
The messenger: A channel: ntfy, Gotify, Discord, Slack, Telegram, Pushover or a webhook
“No e-mail?” “No.”: E-mail is not one of the channels
Testing, testing: Send test, before you save the channel
Only trouble: A new channel gets the problems, not the reports; tick what you want
The book, not the phone: Switched off or muted: in the app only
Twenty, then one last note: At most 20 per channel per hour, then one message that says until when
“Ben stopped. Kitchen: wsl.”: The title and text of the notice, plus the machine name
A topic that is hard to guess: On ntfy.sh, anyone who knows the topic can read along
The sealed envelope: Secrets encrypted with Windows DPAPI, shown only as “Set”
A new server, the token again: Secrets stay behind when the server or address changes
Always over https: Plain http only to this computer or your own network

Now give the chef your number.

ntfy, Gotify, Discord, Slack, Telegram, Pushover or a webhook. A test before you save, the notices you pick, twenty an hour at most, and the tokens encrypted on your own computer.

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